Stronger leaders, inspiring parents
Why vulnerability is modelling strength not weakness
Vulnerability is something that’s pretty fundamental to our well-being, our ability to deeply connect and inspire others. The problem is, we’re living in a world where being vulnerable and being real feels really dangerous.
Who wants to be vulnerable when you’re seeing the seemingly perfect, edited version of life on social media or the culture within your company is about ‘covering one’s arse’? And let’s face it, who wants to share how they feel navigating WhatsApp groups, cliques and friendship politics...because whether you’re primary school age or post 40 we can all be triggered by this stuff.
But here’s the bind, without an element of vulnerability we’re really limited. Because when we hold up a mask, when we say one thing but think another, we’re encouraging other people to do the same and the cycle repeats. We’re unconsciously raising the danger level to red.
It’s the most frustrating thing in the world because we can be screaming on the inside - for society, organisations, businesses, media to drop the BS - but we can feel powerless to do anything about it ourselves.
Vulnerability and leadership
In her book Dare to Lead, Brene Brown, highlights the importance of taking off the armour, owning who you are and cultivating courage.
“…cultivate a culture in which brave work, tough conversations and whole hearts are the expectation and armour is not necessary or rewarded.”
While Brene is talking about leadership in business, this applies equally to leaders of kids…to us parents.
Vulnerability is not about leaving yourself dangerously exposed or showing yourself as weak, needy or broken. It’s about being grounded in yourself to be able to own who you are, where you’re at and what you’re doing, even if it feels uncomfortable. It’s about courage, strength and responsibility…and who doesn’t want to model those things!
How can we develop our vulnerability muscle?
We’re vulnerable when we try new things, when we take risks, when we reach out to people not knowing the outcome, when we’re ourselves in any situation, when we're honest when we share our experience rather than covering it up.
I love this quote, it sums it up really:
“You can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability. Embrace the suck.” Brene Brown.
And sometimes it does suck, it can feel really uncomfortable. Which is why the next video is all about avoiding or at least mitigating a vulnerability hangover.