Can we have obedient rebels?
Whether it’s getting ready to get out the door in the morning, asking them to do homework or stopping them doing something unsafe, we can’t help but face the fact that obedience is something we encourage in our kids. Even if we don’t like the idea!
To a degree, it’s how society functions.
But there’s a problem with obedience and it’s something I really struggle with. Because obedience kind of squashes independence and independent thinking. Too much obedience means looking outside for direction rather than trusting ourselves to navigate life. In a world where we’re bombarded with other people’s ideas of success, how we should be, what we should look like, how we should roll, our kids really don’t need any more encouragement to ‘follow along’. The harder nut to crack is encouraging them to think for themselves, to problem solve and develop internally fuelled motivation.
In her book, GRIT, Angela Duckworth highlights the importance of passion and perseverance when it comes to creating success. But the key point here is passion comes first and it has to come from within. She also suggests that when we expect high standards from our kids but also support them through challenges we help to build resilience.
It’s not about obedience. It’s more about having boundaries and a sense of collaboration.
Which is one of the reasons we’re developing TUC app…so that kids can connect with their interests, create projects and learn independently whilst collaborating with the whole family too.
Obedience is a tricky one. I find myself barking orders all the time! But, I know the more we encourage independent thinking and a strong sense of self, the more we counter the negative aspects of ‘following along’.
Of course, I’ll have to remember this when we’re running monumentally late and trying to get out the door for school.